Real Talk!

When it comes to cottage life, there are those of us who have extensive cottage experience and those who do not. Everyone’s cottage has nuances that make it different from the next. If you are inviting people to your cottage, there are a few important rules or tips that you should know… and if you are invited to a cottage, there is stuff you should find out, in order to enjoy your stay.

A good host/hostess will be very clear about when and for how long guests have been invited to stay… and about pets and discuss any rules that may apply. A good host/hostess will let you know where to park and how to get their attention, upon arrival.

A good host/hostess will inform guests about the quirks of their cottage. Some cottage owners post rules- something easily accomplished with neat index card sized notes pinned in the appropriate areas. They know that other people have different habits in their own homes, particularly when on urban water and sewage services.

Areas of particular importance are bathrooms (plumbing or alternative bathroom procedures are common in cottage country). Things like “how to operate” the toilet, tap water is or isn’t drinkable, hot water is limited, warnings about any items that might plug up the works: such as triple ply decorator toilet paper, sanitary hygiene products, cigarette butts or diapers. A good host/hostess will make sure guests know the appropriate “water etiquette” – things like, if there is a separate supply for drinking and if there are limits to the length or timing of showers.

A good host/hostess will tell you about the various forms of wildlife that are in the area, as they realize that an unexpected sighting of a bear, snapping turtle, large beaver or snake can be traumatic to the uninitiated. Even long weeds in the water can be frightening to some… so guests may be given parameters for the “swimming area”.

Care and storage of equipment like paddles, life jackets and beach toys will be discussed up front, as will “where to hang wet bathing suits and towels”. A good host/hostess knows that it will be a far more enjoyable visit, if everyone has a general idea of how things are done and can do their part.

If you’ve been invited to a cottage, there are important questions you should ask.

1/ Clarify arrival date and departure date and don’t overstay.
1a/ Clarify that children &/or pets are welcome.
2/ Clarify where to park- for unloading & for the stay (it may be two different locations).
3/ Ask about grocery items or refreshments that you can contribute to the menu and if you will need a cooler for those items.
4/ Ask about sleeping arrangements, do you need to bring sleeping bags, pillows, linens or any other items? How about towels, lifejackets, fishing tackle or rods?

A good guest will be prepared with sunscreen, sunglasses and a good book or magazines. A good guest knows that cottages are supposed to be about relaxing and unwinding and will want to make it as stress-free as possible, for everyone concerned. This means, a good guest will come on time, accompanied only by other expected guests and expected pets. A good guest will never complain about being bored.

A good guest will keep the cottage as clean and tidy as possible. Lending a hand with dishwashing, sweeping, table setting, cooking, wood chopping, taking garbage out and any other daily chores. A good guest will lend a hand fixing the dock or any other project that is on the go.

A good guest picks up after themselves, children and animals. Bare feet are common in cottage country and there is nothing worse than stepping in Rover’s business or finding a soggy towel in a heap on the floor. A good guest will poop and scoop- similarly, a good guest will bring extra plastic bags for dealing with soiled diapers and will pick up after any kid (even their own).

A good guest keeps their space tidy and won’t hog other people’s space with their gear. A good guest will ask for directions as to the best place to stash bulky stuff. A good guest is pretty self-sufficient and won’t sulk if nobody else wants to do a ten-mile hike.

A good guest will respect campfire rules. A good guest brings their own "beverages" and won’t get too drunk or too obnoxious.

A good guest understands that mosquitoes, other types of flies, bugs and spiders are part of the charm of cottage life. A good guest will bait their own hooks and be careful not to cast a snag into their host… a good guest won’t squeal out loud or rock the boat, when someone catches a fish.

A good guest won’t complain if there is no TV. A good guest will enjoy rainy day and evening festivities- including board games. A good guest understands that just because they’re at a cottage, there should still be civilized behaviour, which brings up another good point- if a good guest must have sex at the cottage, they will practice silent sex, because cottage walls are almost always thin!

Good guests wash their own “snack” dishes and won’t take glass of any kind anywhere near the beach. A good guest doesn’t leave out food or empty cups, bottles, cans or wrappers that could prove to be an invitation for unwanted visitors of many sizes and description.

A good guest will bring something that says thank-you. They’ll bring some homemade cookies, a bottle of wine for a dinner or some other small token. They’ll pack up quietly and efficiently and tidy behind themselves.

Good guests get invited back.