Real Talk!

Day 01: Something you hate about yourself.

For the most part, I’m not a “hater”. In my personal vocabulary “hate” is far too definitive, way too extreme, irreversibly negative... and I have been told that one of my weaknesses is that I haven’t learned to “hate”. Now, if I look at the dictionary definition, I see that it I may be overreacting, somewhat... but then, thinking it over... I suppose I have an extreme aversion to the word hate... the idea of hate... the oppressive use of hate... the culture of hate... hate crimes...

HATE

v. hat•ed, hat•ing, hates
v.tr.
1.
a. To feel hostility or animosity toward.
b. To detest.
2. To feel dislike or distaste for: hates washing dishes.
v.intr.
To feel hatred.
n.
1. Intense animosity or dislike; hatred.
2. An object of detestation or hatred

verb, hat•ed, hat•ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1.
to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry.
2.
to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
–verb (used without object)
3.
to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
–noun
4.
intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.
5.
the object of extreme aversion or hostility.

Synonyms

1. loathe, execrate; despise. HATE, ABHOR, DETEST, ABOMINATE imply feeling intense dislike or aversion toward something. HATE, the simple and general word, suggests passionate dislike and a feeling of enmity: to hate autocracy. ABHOR expresses a deep-rooted horror and a sense of repugnance or complete rejection: to abhor cruelty; Nature abhors a vacuum. DETEST implies intense, even vehement, dislike and antipathy, besides a sense of disdain: to detest a combination of ignorance and arrogance. ABOMINATE expresses a strong feeling of disgust and repulsion toward something thought of as unworthy, unlucky, or the like: to abominate treachery.

While I’m pretty hard on myself... I can’t say that I consistently hate anything about myself... I have had plenty of moments of dislike... but I truly see them as opportunities for self-evaluation and improvement. I have to admit, there are some areas that get revisited more regularly and I suppose they would be characteristics that I find the least attractive in myself. These would include those occasions in which I feel I have talked excessively or times that I feel I might have come across as self-indulgent or boastful... or situations in which I feel I have communicated poorly and been misunderstood... and heaven forbid, if I think I’ve hurt someone.

I never would seek to hurt. I don’t like to disappoint people, including myself. I am particularly disgusted by injustice... that’s something that always gets a rise out of me... I don’t hate that personal trait... but there are times in which I will defend the underdog, to my own detriment- which doesn’t always feel great. Fortunately, I realize nobody is perfect and I forgive easily... maybe too easily... well, sometimes.