Real Talk!

Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Hmmmmm...

Hmmmmm.......

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am having a bad hair life...

I've tried every colour, every style, sometimes simultaneously! I found someone with a good hair gene, before I reproduced... hoping my offspring would inherit better locks... fortunately, that part of the bond was successful...

still, it would be nice if I could figure it out and change my hair issues... and, ya, I'd like to get into better shape, physically... oh, I could list a million (or more) reasons that it is what it is... however, I deal with chronic pain and I'm sure there would be some relief if I got into better shape...

Now, if we are talking real estate... lots of people have told me that I need to learn to be more brutal... after all, it is a "cut throat" business...

I think there are times that I need to be more "thick skinned"... I have to admit that I don't like being *crapped on*... and that does happen, in the real estate biz...

I could say that I'd like to be more adventurous... but that really isn't true... any more adventurous and I could get into trouble! Perhaps it would be more true if I said that I want to have MORE adventures...

ah ha! Now I have it... the thing I'd like to change, that is...

I want to recognize every achievement and practice small celebrations, more often...

*smile*

I adore small ceremonies!

What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Okay, this challenge has gone too far. I mean, I can't begin to tell you the thoughts that whirl through my mind... however, I will try.

J.M.Didier

First of all, if my father told me once- he told me a zillion times... you can't live your life on "what ifs". & it's so very true. What if, means that it isn't. So there's nothing to discuss. Until a situation comes along, you really can't say what the ultimate answer will be. Secondly, it's outrageously unlikely that this would ever occur. Nuff said.

However, I can tell you that I was told by some very reputable doctors that I would not be able to have children. It had to do with going undiagnosed with thyroid disease for too long... among other things. Also, my husband was told that he was not going to reproduce... fertility issues. So, when I did find myself pregnant (at 33 which was old in those days), I was totally unprepared. & what did I do?

After throwing up... I rejoiced... and welcomed my precious angel baby... she was truly a gift.

What’s the best thing going for you right now?

I don't know... maybe it's true, maybe I do think too much. I mean, I read this topic and I thought... that doesn't really make sense. Is it supposed to be what's going the best for you? Is it supposed to be what's going well for you? What do you think is the best thing going?

I can only answer to the best of my ability... and that's not the best thing going right now... well, I mean, it's not bad...

ACK!

okay, anyway... the best thing going is all the people that I love and care about... my daughter is doing well at university and she seems to like it... she has a nice boyfriend... she isn't any trouble... she's kind and thoughtful and sweet and beautiful and intelligent and mature... and... and... and.... it's all good...

all is well in my relationship with my partner...

I have a great family... good friends... wonderful clients... I work with nice people... I love my dog... and my friend's pets...

Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I suppose I have had fleeting thoughts... during some very, very dark moments. & I’ve had my share of those.

More than.

I’ve survived abuse, nasty divorces, injustice... and other stuff... some horrific illness and accidents, too...

Probably, the closest to the brink, was in 2000... 2001... when I was dealing with mild traumatic brain injury and didn’t know it... it didn’t get a whole lot better once I figured it out, either...

I can't express the devastation... how frightening it is to realize that you don't recognize everyday objects... that you can't count... can't read... can't tie your shoe laces... don't know which comes first- shoes or socks... don't know which foot which shoe works on... can't remember anything for more than a moment... have no long-term recall.... feel dizzy and confused... and can't articulate...

I saw more doctors than you can count... I have a box or two full of records and documentation... I experienced a lot of pain, a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of nasty ignorant people and a lot of frustration...

it was particularly frustrating because neuro-psychological examinations, post accident, still put me at the 95 percentile... yet I couldn't count out $1.25 for hot-dog-day... or use a telephone... and I was so awfully tired... and had visual issues... the list goes on...

& friends didn't understand (I lost a few)... family had a hard time coping... even my co-workers were difficult about it... I'm not going to go into details... it was ridiculous! I thought I was going to go out of my mind!

Thank goodness for my daughter, Katie... 8 at the time... she taught me everything I know & cheered me up... all the way along!

there are still days that I have pain and discomfort that relate back to that accident... some of the brain damage is permanent- although I have, for the most part, learned to cope with my deficits.

Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Well... obviously, I haven't been paid a visit by the grim reaper, yet...

although, I have been on the edge...

Some days, I feel like I'm still alive, simply because my body isn't totally devastated yet... other times, I feel like I still have a mission or lesson to complete...

I remember, after dad passed away, thinking it would be nice if people came stamped with expiry dates...

although, in retrospect, I'm not sure about that...

In 1786, life expectancy was 24 years. A hundred years later it doubled to 48. Right now, it's 76.

"Over half the baby boomers here in America are going to see their hundredth birthday and beyond in excellent health," says Dr. Ronald Klatz of the American Academy of Anti-Aging. "We're looking at life spans for the baby boomers and the generation after the baby boomers of 120 to 150 years of age."

Scientists are saying that if you're alive in 20 years, you may be able to live forever.

I read somewhere that the Turritopsis nutricula, a species of jellyfish, has figured it all out. This jellyfish has developed a way to change itself from an adult back to the infant (polyp) stage, and back and forth, which in effect allows it to live forever.

almost sounds like a fate worse than death...

I mean, how long would your bucket list have to be???

How much would you have to save for retirement? Would there be retirement? Who would get to decide who gets to retire? My mother can remember a loaf of bread being two-cents... the modern keyboard doesn't even have a cent sign! I suppose if you went looking for some super-confusing code you could come up with one... and now, a loaf of bread? C'mon... I mean you have to have at least two twoonies in your wallet.

And then... what are you buying? Preservatives?

Hmmmmmm

In 1967 (incidentally, one year after Walt Disney’s death- he was cremated, not frozen!), James Bedford became the first person whose body was cryogenically "preserved". Baseball great Ted Williams was the most famous person to be cryogenically preserved. According to the Cryonics Institute, famous people who have publicly expressed an interest in cryogenic preservation have included talk show host Larry King, boxing legend Muhammad Ali, science fiction master Arthur C. Clarke, and National Book Award-winning author Gore Vidal.

According to Alcor, the Life Extension Institute, as of 2002, more than a hundred people had been frozen since James Bedford in 1967. They also claim that 1,000 people worldwide have made financial and legal arrangements with Alcor to be cryogenically preserved. (As of February 28, 2011, Alcor has 932 members and 102 patients). Alcor offers two options (they suggest you purchase life insurance to cover the cost): for whole body preservation you would need a minimum policy of $200,000, and for neuropreservation (just your brain) you would need a minimum policy of $80,000...

When all of a deceased member’s living relatives are gone, continuing payment can be assured upfront through a “Patient Care Trust Fund.” This is a legal and financial investment arrangement with Alcor.

There's also Robert C.W. Ettinger’s Cryonics Institute, it has 718 members, 85 “Human Patients in Cryostasis”, and 52 “Pets in Cryostasis.” On their web site, they also advertise much lower prices than Alcor and other such services.

Reminds me of Woody Allen's "Sleeper"... 1973

EVERYTHING'S ON
FOR TONIGHT ?
YES.


I STILL THINK IT'S TOO SOON
TO BRING HIM UP.
WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

AGON THINKS THEY'RE ONTO US.
I PROGRAMMED THE C.L.C.
FOR TWO HOURS TONIGHT.

THERE'S NO TELLING
WHEN HE'LL BE AVAILABLE AGAIN.
WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE HIM...

IF HE COMES UP SUCCESSFULLY,
OTHERWISE, WE SHOULD BE PREPARED
TO DISPOSE OF HIM THE USUAL WAY.

PLEASE STATE REGISTRATION CODE.
CHECK.

WHERE WAS THE SUBJECT FOUND ?

WE CAME ACROSS IT THE LAST DAY
OF OUR FIELD TRIP INTO THE WOODS
A WEEK AGO.

THE CAPSULE
WAS PERFECTLY INTACT.
IS THERE A DATE ON THE CAPSULE ?

OH, YES. THE SUBJECT
WAS FROZEN IN


WHICH MEANS HE'S BEEN UNDER
FOR YEARS.

[ Machines Beeping ]

- BLOOD PRESSURE.
- OVER .

- ENCEPHALO-ACTIVITY ?
- JUST UNDER NORMAL.

GENERAL LIFE FUNCTIONS...
ACCEPTABLE.

HE SHOULD BE COMING
OUT OF IT ANY MOMENT.


DO WE HAVE ANY INFORMATION
ON HIM ?


JUST THE USUAL DATA CARD
INSIDE THE CAPSULE AND
THE PERSONAL ARTIFACTS HERE.


HMM. THE SUBJECT
WAS YEARS OLD AT TIME
OF INITIAL CRYOGENIC EMERGENT.

HIS NAME... MILES MONROE.
UNDER OCCUPATION IT SAYS
HE WAS PART OWNER...

OF THE HAPPY CARROT HEALTH FOOD
RESTAURANT ON BLEECKER STREET,
WHEREVER THAT WAS.


ALSO A CLARINET PLAYER
WITH SOMETHING CALLED
THE RAGTIME RASCALS.

WAS HIS EMERGENT VOLUNTARY ?

HMM. ACCORDING TO THIS,

"SUBJECT ENTERED HOSPITAL
FOR ROUTINE EXPLORATION
OF MINOR PEPTIC ULCER...

AND COMPLICATIONS SET IN."

THE PATIENT NEVER
REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS.


HE WAS ADMITTED FOR CRYOGENIC
EMERGENT BY HIS COUSIN,
A MRS. JOAN NEEDLEBAUM.


THE PHYSICAL DAMAGE
WAS REPAIRED.
YEAH. TOTALLY. ROUTINE.

WE'RE GETTING AN INITIAL
MOTOR RESPONSE OVER HERE.

THIS IS THE CRITICAL STAGE NOW.
IF HIS CONSCIOUSNESS ISN'T
HANDLED CAREFULLY,

THERE COULD BE DAMAGING TRAUMA.


REMEMBER, WE'RE DEALING
WITH AN INVOLUNTARY SUBJECT
WHO EXPECTS TO BE WAKING UP...

IN ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL
IN GREENWICH VILLAGE IN .

SWALLOW REFLEX IS ALMOST THERE.

[ Mutters ]

WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM OUT
OF HERE.
HE'S NOT READY.


WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM AMBULATORY
WHETHER HE'S READY OR NOT.

[ Grunts ]
CAREFUL, CAREFUL.
CAREFUL !

[ Chattering ]
NOW, JUST KEEP HIM
ON HIS FEET.

WE'VE GOT TO DISPOSE
OF THIS CAPSULE.

WHEN HE'S READY,
GET HIM TO THE FARM.
WE'LL MEET THERE TONIGHT.

YES.
THERE WE GO !

NOW, LET'S TRY TO TAKE A STEP.
LIKE THIS. ONE.


UP IT COMES. TAKE A STEP.
LOOK AT ME. UP, DOWN.

THAT'S IT.
THERE YOU ARE.

GOOD.
VERY GOOD, MR. MONROE !
GOOD, GOOD.

UP, DOWN.
NO, HE'S GOT IT IN REVERSE.


OH, YOU'RE GOING
THE WRONG WAY.
MR. MONROE !

NO, THE OTHER WAY !
THERE WE GO.
WHOA !

[ Alarm Sounding ]
SECURITY IS COMING !

OH, MR. MONROE !
PLEASE, MR. MONROE, WAKE UP !

This, also, brought up the concept of CLONING....

TEN MONTHS AGO,
OUR LEADER SUFFERED
A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT...


WHEN A BOMB, PLANTED
IN HIS HOME BY MEMBERS
OF THE UNDERGROUND, EXPLODED.

NATURALLY,
IT WAS KEPT QUIET.


BUT SINCE THEN,
WE HAVE VIRTUALLY BEEN
A LEADERLESS SOCIETY.

UNFORTUNATELY,
PREPARATIONS FOR A SUCCESSOR...

HAVE NEVER BEEN
ADEQUATELY CLEAR.

IN SHORT, WE HAVE
BEEN IN THE THROES
OF A MAJOR CRISIS.


AS FOR OUR LEADER,

THE EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT
RUSHED TO THE SCENE
OF THE ACCIDENT IMMEDIATELY,

BUT ALL THAT REMAINED
OF HIM WAS THIS.

THIS IS OUR LEADER'S NOSE.


USING GREAT PRESENCE OF MIND,


WE RUSHED THE NOSE
TO OUR CLOSEST DELTA LABORATORY
WHICH IS HERE...

WHERE, THROUGH MASSIVE
BIOCHEMICAL EFFORT,

IT HAS BEEN KEPT ALIVE
FOR NEARLY A YEAR.

OUR DREAM HAS BEEN
THAT BY CLONING,


WE WOULD REDUPLICATE
THE ENTIRE LEADER AGAIN.


CLONING, FOR THOSE OF YOU
UNFAMILIAR WITH BIOLOGY,


IS A PROCESS BY WHICH
USING ONE SINGLE CELL,

A DUPLICATE OF THE PERSON
IT CAME FROM COULD BE FORMED.


TILL NOW WE'VE ONLY HAD
LIMITED EXPERIMENTAL SUCCESS.

BUT ALL EFFORTS
HAVE BEEN DIRECTED TO CLONING
OVER THE PAST TEN MONTHS.

AND NOW WE FEEL CONFIDENT
WE CAN REPRODUCE OUR LEADER...


IN PERFECT TACT
FROM HIS NOSE.


GENTLEMEN, WITH GOD'S HELP,
IN A COUPLE OF HOURS,


WE WILL HAVE
OUR LEADER BACK.

NOT SO FAST!

In 1997, Dolly, the first mammal cloned from an adult body cell, came into the world as innocent as a lamb; but caused panic and controversy, as well as a vast literature on the ethics and regulation of cloning.

One of the major concerns raised by cloning is that it could lead to eugenic practices.

GULP

I guess the truth is that I just don't like the idea of messing with nature.

OOPS... I almost rambled on

Day 24 Make a playlist, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
Artist (Band): Roberta Flack

Baby I Love Your Way
Artist (Band): Peter Frampton

Colour My World
Artist (Band): Chicago

Groovy Kind of Love
Artist (Band): Phil Collins

I Just Called To Say I Love You
Artist (Band): Stevie Wonder

Never My Love
Artist (Band): The Fifth Dimension

At Last
Artist (Band): Etta James

The Keeper of The Stars
Artist (Band): Tracy Byrd

In My Life
Artist (Band): The Beatles

What a Wonderful World
Artist (Band): Louis Armstrong

Dear Fabian,

At the risk of being seen as schmaltzy, I have prepared a "Play List" of songs for you. As you know, I am a poet... so I see it more as taking license.

Lyrically, these song selections express the way I feel about you.

Love,

Jody

Something you wish you had done in your life.

For the most part, I believe that there's still time to accomplish a lot...

Although, I wish I had spent more time with some of the people who are gone.

Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not~ Lucille Ball

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams~ Yiddish Proverb

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Maxims

Oh my... I have often thought it would be nice to have a "rewind" button in real life... however, generally it is when I have poorly communicated and have been misunderstood. Oh well.

I almost wish I hadn't started on this blog challenge... however, I choose not to wallow in negativity, therefore, I don't allow myself to regret. Regret is like guilt, if you choose to acknowledge it, it's like a gift that just keeps giving. I guess I prefer to practice forgiving. Best to move forward, I think.

Day 21 (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

First of all... I don't generally "fight" with my friends... however, if there was any type of disagreement, I would let go of it... and I would go directly to the hospital!

This blog challenge is getting kind of silly, if you ask me...

still... I started it... and so, I shall finish it.

Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Okay... I have to take certain prescription drugs, for instance, thyroxine... yup, my thyroid has been out of whack for most of my life... and if it wasn't for this medication, I wouldn't be breathing...

and I have been known to have a drink, now and then

however, I have always been responsible... I've never approved of drinking and driving...

and I've tried to avoid resorting to pharmaceuticals...

I do believe that the pharmaceutical industry has a lot to answer for

and I really don't like to think about the revenues of organized criminals... or the tactics...

and I don't care for the behaviour of "drinkers"

but what scares me the most... are drugs being cooked up in people's homes... and the toxic affect that they have on society... people using crack and other home-made concoctions are selling their own children... it's horrifying!

it's very sad

Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Well... well... well...

You may notice that I haven't been keeping up to date on this blog of truth... it's been a wild month. My father-in-law passed away... and we closed the ski hill... it's been a month of religion and politics...

and what do I think of them? All I know is there has been a lot of sadness on account of them, both.

Remembering Alphonse Yantha

Alphonse August Yantha, affectionately known as “Alphie” was born July 31st, 1935 in Radcliffe Township. The grandson of John Yantha (1865-1897) and Lucy Anne Aron (1865-1917) and son of John J Yantha (1888-1978) and his 3rd wife, Teckla Norlock (1901-1982), Alphie lived most of his life in Combermere.

Alphie’s father, a farmer on Dafoe Rd, was first married to Catherine Recoski; together they had Ambrose, Anna Marianne and Eleanor. After Catherine’s death, John married Anastasia Kazaboski, with whom he had daughter, Julie. In 1921, he married Teckla Norlock and their children were Agatha, Elzeard, Esther, Alec, Leonarda and Alphonse.

Teckla gathered all of the children, as they had been placed in the care of other families. There would be no talk of “half” or “step” siblings. Alphie carried this sentiment throughout his life and, as one family member recently said, he made the “misfits feel like originals.”

Fiercely protective of family, years ago, a teenaged Alphie came home to find his mother recovering from a bout with the family bull. Taking it by the horns, Alphie twisted it to the ground and would likely have killed it, had he not been stopped by his mother.

After completing grade 6, Alphie was off to work in the bush with a team of horses and later, as a young man, he was employed by the township. A frequent sight in his 1956 “heat green” and “Alaskan white” Monarch, Alphie could be heard coming, a mile away. This often sent the young girls from the convent hiding, with gales of giggles and shrieks. He caught the attention of one of the local beauties, Marie Eva Fitzgerald, daughter of Barry’s Bay businessman John Edward Fitzgerald (1901-1967) and Valentine Marie Martin (1901-1960). Alphie and Marie married in 1959.

Alphie had built his folks a retirement bungalow, so the newlyweds moved into the family homestead. Soon, though, they moved on to the Belleville area, where Alphie worked as a welder and diesel mechanic for Trudeau Equipment. Here, he was tasked with fitting the first wing onto a V-plough and he had to invent a design and manufacture the parts to do it.

In 1960, Alphie and Marie welcomed baby Valmarie and in 1963, son John. (Baby Alphonse Jr was born with spina bifida and lived only a few days). In 1965, Alphie suffered a bad injury on the job and spent many months in the hospital, in Barrie. His family returned to Combermere and once he was well enough, Alphie joined them and went back to his job with the township. He also kept up the haying and maintained the farm. In 1967, he built a sugar shack. That first year, Alphie and Tommy Serran wore out several brace and bits tapping the trees before introducing the maple syrup now known as “Alphie’s Finest”. That fall, son Fabian was born, in Barry’s Bay.

In 1968, Marie and Alphie inherited the Fitzgerald store, on Stafford Street (Barry’s Bay) spawning Yantha Enterprises. Here, Alphie assembled and repaired many a bicycle. It was trial and error for the first while, as Alphie and Marie learned the furniture and appliance business, however, as Sister Rosenda says, “They made a good team.” and the business flourished.

Alphie could fix just about anything. One time, he surprised a local couple when he visited and repaired their t.v. antenna and they were only too delighted to pay him for his time. Back at the store, he discovered that he had gone to the wrong house and needed to hurry back, to fix the antenna for the customer who had been expecting the house call.

It was 1979 when Alphie took a notion to acquire a Case 580C backhoe and thus began A. Yantha & Sons Backhoe. He soon added “trucking” with the purchase of a single axle dump truck and trailer. Over the next 30+ years, that business evolved into what is known today as Yantha Backhoe and Trucking Ltd.

In 2009, friends, family, neighbours and employees gathered to celebrate Alphie and Marie’s 50th wedding anniversary. When anyone made a joke about the longevity of their union, a serious Alphie would explain, “50 years doesn’t seem like a long time, when you’re having fun.”

Alphonse thought himself an ordinary man, however, those who knew him, knew different. What can one say about a man who did the family’s mending, taught his daughter the art of knitting and spent many hours at war with beavers? Yes, indeed, Alphie firmly believed that the sure way to be rid of a pesky beaver population was to drive them off, by continually harassing them. You might even say that Alphie was more industrious than the busiest beaver.

In 1984, when his hunt camp, woodshed and outhouse burned down, Alphie rebuilt, bigger and better, such was his sense of pride.

Alphie knew every inch of his beloved home town, stopping construction crews from encroaching on a small, previously unmarked pioneer cemetery on the hill. He lovingly worked at restoring the old Yantha homestead and often dreamt of having an old-fashioned family Christmas there. Local auction goers will remember Alphie’s #4 and may, finally, be able to purchase an oil lamp or stone crock.
One of the 11 grandchildren smiles, recalling a visit from Alphie, “he stomped on the floor, knocked on the walls and yanked on the balcony rail, before pronouncing it a good place to live”.

Newest Mayor of the Madawaska Valley Township, David Shulist fondly remembers Alphie as an easy going family man.

"Alphie Yantha was proud to be born and raised in the Madawaska Valley. [He was] very proud of his heritage and loved the great outdoors. He always talked about his family whom he loved with all his heart. Alphie felt he was in heaven when he was in his maple sugar shack and his favourite fiddle tune, of course, Maple Sugar.", Shulist said.

Son Fabian cherishes the old-time stories that Alphie would share and the remarkable work that his father did, restoring old buildings that most others would simply have torn down. A good part of Alphie’s last days were spent organizing a plan and assembling a materials list, for son John, to remodel an old stable to make a suitable home for the horses that will soon be delivered.

It came as a great shock when Alphie passed, peacefully, away- surrounded by family, on Monday March 7th, at the Ottawa Civic Hospital. "He was a good business man and a great asset to the Madawaska Valley. He will be missed.", Mayor Shulist added.

Comforted by the overwhelming support of the community, Marie and family intend to carry forward with Alphie’s many plans, honouring a man of extraordinary character, a generous and loving father, grandfather, uncle, brother, friend, neighbour and devoted husband.

I've been away from my computer... no time to write... I have been busy with Real Estate (in other ways) and the ski hill... and the sudden loss of Fabian's dad.

Your views on gay marriage.

Hmmmmm....

The thing is... some of the most devoted couples that I know are same-sex partners. Most of them are very discreet.

& it's a different world now... my daughter turned 19 yesterday... when she was in grade 3, even the Catholic School Board sent around a notice that said they were now recognizing alternative configurations of the family unit.

A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I am an avid reader and I enjoy a wide variety of subjects. Science fiction, poetry, biographies, you name it. I collect books, too... makes moving interesting... between the boxes of books and boxes of rocks... I know I can access books online, but I still like turning pages.

Many books have made an impact on my views... however, there are a couple that I have found myself recommending to others, over the years...

one is "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Dr. Susan Jeffers

This is an excellent book for anyone who is having a difficult time making a decision or making a change in their life... it's a powerful read... learning how to take away fear and enjoy a more exciting, joyous life...

and then there is "Family Ties that Bind" by Dr. Ronald W. Richardson

Essentially a self-help guide. & it explains about the affects of family relationships, birth order, our parents' relationship, and how we were brought up can affect our self-image and relationships with spouses, children, and other family members.

These books were recommended to me, in the late 80s by a dear friend of the family, Vonda... at a time when I was working through some of my "stuff"... and they helped me to put my thoughts into some semblance of order & gave me the encouragement to see things through.

Someone or something you definitely could live without.

WAR

HATE

CRUELTY

VIOLENCE

ABUSE

HUNGER

TERRORISM

TYRANNY

DISEASE

PAIN

LIES & LIARS

DESTRUCTION

Take your pick.

I wish I had a magic wand to take away all the suffering and unhappiness in the world.

I promise, I'd make good use of it.

Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Sleep... oh ya. It's gotta be sleep. Years ago, I was writing a series of poems about some "stuff" and I was so immersed in it that I went without sleep for a while and then, I discovered that the more deprived of sleep, the more I could connect with those old, deep feelings...

I suppose that the truth is that I had already healed for the most part... but writing about it was something that I had to do...

and, since my accident in 2000... my body doesn't generally let me go without sleep... I'm running on about an hour today... but this time, it's because we are in the midst of losing one of the dearest men that I have ever known... and I am needed.

Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)

I am fortunate. I have never been disappointed by any of my heroes.

However, I have yet to come to terms with the death of George Reeves... television's Superman... His death at age 45 from a gunshot was officially deemed suicide, but some still believe he was murdered or the victim of an accidental shooting...

"Superman's Song"
Crash Test Dummies

Tarzan wasn't a ladies' man
He'd just come along and scoop 'em up under his arm
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin' around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing

[Chorus:]
Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going

Tarzan was king of the jungle and Lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words: "I Tarzan, You Jane."

Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phone booths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home

A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough *ss days. (write a letter.)

Honestly... I remember wearing out Carole King’s Tapestry Album... and Cat Stevens’ Tea for the Tillerman... which remain on my list of favourites... However, in 1976 the song Dream Weaver was released and...

Dear Mr Wright,
I thank you for a very special recording... listening to your song “Dream Weaver” has helped me through many sad and difficult days...

Dream Weaver

by Gary Wright

I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind

Ooooh, dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooooh, dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light

Fly me high through the starry skies
Maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget today's pain

Ooooh, dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooooh, dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light

Though the dawn may be coming soon
There still may be some time
Fly me away to the bright side of the moon
And meet me on the other side

Ooooh, dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooooh, dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light

Dream weaver
Dream weaver

Something you never get compliments on.

Now, really... #12 here is interesting to me. I haven't noticed when people don't give me compliments. I mean, I'm thinking that if you notice that nobody compliments you, it means you were looking for some sort of compliments... doesn't it? Just saying.

I don't do thing in search of compliments. I do thing because I need to do them or want to do them or can do them or want to learn to do them... not to impress anybody.

I have had people copy me... and I've been told that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... so in a sense, that would be a compliment that nobody has made directly to me... but that doesn't really fit #12.

That makes me think of the rules that Gibbs has in NCIS....

Gibbs Rules:
To be obeyed at all times. Consequence is a slap to the back of the head.

Thanks to http://www.ncisfanwiki.com/page/NCIS%3A+Gibbs+Rules for the following:

Rule # Rule: Actual Character Quote: Episode(s) Mentioned In:

1- Never let suspects stay together.

Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number one: Never let suspects stay together." 1.01 Yankee White

1- Never screw (over) your partner.

Gibbs: "Number one supersedes all of the others."
Jenny: "Never screw your partner?"
Gibbs: "Never screw OVER your partner." 4.14 Blowback

2- Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene." 1.01 Yankee White

3- Don't believe what you're told. Double check.

Gibbs: "Rule number three: Don't believe what you're told, double check."
Kate: "Should I write these rules in my Palm Pilot or crochet them on pillows?" 1.01 Yankee White

3- Never be unreachable.

Ziva (after trying to reach McGee): "Rule number three..."
Tony: "Never be unreachable." 3.13 Deception

4- If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third best.

Jenny: "It's your fault you know."
Gibbs: "For what, leaving or coming back?"
Jenny: "For teaching me your rules. Best way to keep a secret, keep it to yourself. Second best, tell one other person... if you must. There is no third best. (walking away) That's rule number four isn't it?" 4.14 Blowback

6- Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness.

Gibbs (to Kate): "Never say you're sorry. (laughing) You don't have to crochet that one." 1.01 Yankee White

Tony (to Gibbs): I broke rule #6. Never say you're sorry.Gibbs: It was covered by rule #18. 7.12 Flesh & Blood

7- Always be specific when you lie.

Gibbs (to Kate): "Rule number seven: Always be specific when you lie." 1.23 Reveille

8- Never take anything for granted.

Abby (to McGee): "Rule number eight is gonna save you McGee!"
Tony: "Never date a co-worker? "
Ziva (to Tony): "Never go anywhere without your knife. "
Tony (to Ziva): "Thought that was nine."
Gibbs: "Never take anything for granted."
Abby (to Gibbs): "Correct El Jefe. But then again you did make up the rules." 3.10 Probie

Ziva: "I assume Gibbs would have checked that out last night."
Tony: "Rule number eight: Never assume anything."
Ziva: "To be precise it's, ah, never take anything for granted." 3.17 Ravenous

9- Never go anywhere without a knife.

Gibbs (while handing his knife to Tony): "Rule number nine:"
Gibbs & Kate (in unison): "Never go anywhere without a knife." 1.13 One Shot, One Kill

Tony: "Rule nine."
Atlas: "What?"
Tony: "Ya know those rules they teach you guys in the Marine Corps."
Atlas: "What rules?"
Tony: "Huh, I always suspected the fact that Gibbs was making that stuff up. Well... rule nine is, ah (undoing his belt), never go anywhere (pulling out his knife) without a knife." 1.20 Missing

Abby: Rule #9 'always keep a spare'.
Tony: I thought Gibbs said nine was 'always carry a knife.'
Abby: Not Gibbs' rules...mine. 3.22 Jeopardy

10- Never get personally involved in a case.
Gibbs: You okay?
Tony: Not really. I broke rule number ten. Again. Never get personally involved in a case.
Gibbs: Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with. 7.21 Obsession

11- When the job is done, walk away.

Gibbs: "Rule number eleven, DiNozzo."
Tony: "I would never date a co-worker boss. Trust me. I mean, why would you even—that's twelve. Eleven... when the job is done, you walk away." 6.24 Semper Fidelis

12- Never date a coworker.

Kate (to Tony): "Not my style, Tony. I would just shoot you."
Gibbs (just walking in): "That would be the reason for rule number twelve."
Kate: "Rule twelve?"
Gibbs: "Never date a co-worker." 1.15 Enigma

13- Never, ever involve lawyers.

Tony: "Which means you've been here one day and already broken Gibbs' rule number thirteen."
Dwayne: "Rule number thirteen?"
Tony: "Yeah, rule number thirteen: Never, ever involve lawyers. Things are bound to turn nasty." 6.07 Collateral Damage

15- Always work as a team.

Jenny: "I heard your agents are pitted against each other. Wasn't that Gibbs' rule number fifteen? Always work as a team."
Gibbs: "Not on this one." 5.05 Leap of Faith

18- It's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission.

Jenny (to Gibbs): "Number eighteen: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission." 3.04 Silver War

22- Never, ever interrupt Gibbs in interrogation.

Tony (to Ziva): "Rule number twenty-two: never, NEVER bother Gibbs in interrogation." 4.10 Smoked

23- Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.

Kate (to Tony): "Maybe next time you should remember rule... twenty-three..."
Marine (laughing): "Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live." 2.09 Forced Entry

27- There are two ways to follow someone.

1st way - they never notice you; 7.15 Jack Knife

2nd way - they only notice you. 7.24 Rule Fifty-One (on a piece of paper in Jethro's home)

38- Your case, your lead.

Gibbs (to Tony): "Your case, your lead. I think it's a rule."
6.16 Bounce

39- There is no such thing as coincidence.
7.21 Obsession

40- If it seems like someone's out to get you, they are.

Gibbs (to Abby): "Rule forty."
Abby (to Gibbs): "If you think someone is out to get you, they are." 7.22 Borderland

44- First things first, hide the women and children.

Gibbs (to Camila Charo to tell Mike Franks): "Tell him Rule 44" 7.23 Patriot Down

Shannon (to Gibbs): "Forty-four. First things first, Hide the women and children. You're actually writing these down?" 7.24 Rule Fifty-One

45- Clean up your messes.

Tony (to Gibbs): "Where are you gonna be?"
Gibbs (to Tony): "At the mess I gotta clean up."
Tony (whispers to Ziva): "That's 45 ... basically." 7.24 Rule Fifty-One

51- Sometimes - you're wrong.

Gibbs (written after reminiscing about his wife and his rules) 7.24 Rule Fifty-One

From 3.05 - Switch :

Ziva: Just to be clear, are there any more of these rules I should be aware of?
Gibbs: About 50 of them.
Ziva: And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could—
Gibbs: NO.
Ziva: Then how am I supposed to—
Gibbs: My job is to teach them to you.

From 6.04 - Heartland:

Young Gibbs: You’ve got a rule for everything?
Shannon: Working on it. Everyone needs a code they can live by.

Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Like most people, I do receive compliments. People have noted my home, cooking, writing, parenting, dependability, intelligence, patience, sense of humour, research, tenacity, competence, strength ... pretty much the usual stuff...

A lot of people tell me that I have nice eyes. I’d say that’s one of the most often mentioned items...

oh, and that I have a nice dog.

Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

ACK! As if. As if I'm going to name names. Let me tell you how difficult these challenges are. You don't realize, until you're a few days into it. The challenge is about TRUTH. It's about revealing my truth. I interpret that as the need to be absolutely honest (to the best of your knowledge and belief) and, in my opinion, this is a serious matter and requires some thought.

I've blogged about my sensibilities many times and anybody who knows me... well, let's just say that I am extremely straight forward...

anyway......................I set about the day, today, planning to think about who I needed to let go of... or who I wish that I didn't know... so that I could write honestly about that.

I wouldn't name names... I might draw pictures...

YUP....I thought so frequently about this blog, earlier, today... that I can't believe it, but I almost forgot to write it. hmmmm... something subconscious ?? I don't think so. I just hadn't finished thinking.

Sure it's late... but it's still today. My puter clock says 11:47 I've had a busy day.

I met with a new client this morning and it was a warming experience... and I listed her unique and wonderful, century plus home... it has quite a history... and that's right up my alley.

while driving, I was jumping between thoughts of this blog and thoughts of the property.

I had a nice lunch, with Mom...

and while I was driving... I was thinking.

and then, my puppy came home from the veterinarian. She's mostly groggy and a little bit constipated, post surgery and I can hear her vaguely whimpering just now, but otherwise she is fine.

There was a lot of stuff going on, between these highlights of my day... some business, some personal and some a combination of the two.

It was a good day, all in all... and after all that thinking, I pretty nearly went blissfully off to bed without writing this... but as I was heading in that general direction... I was thinking... and I realized that it was time to put an end to thinking (I would never have been able to sleep)...

I would have been tossing and turning... thinking... thinking... and I had to admit, time was up was because I hadn't been able to come up with someone to write about. I had been reaching for hours and I hadn't been able to come up with someone to write about.

This was clearly no excuse for skipping the challenge... I would have tossed and turned thinking about THAT, too!

Yup... I've learned not to waste my energy on black holes. It took me a while... but I caught on. When I encounter a personality conflict, I just wish them well and send them back to the universe, with love.

So, there really is no "someone" in my life that I need to let go, or wish I didn’t know ... at least not right at this moment.